So I have my boys 50% of the time. We do one week on, one week off. It's been working pretty well I think. It sucks for the kids to have to pack up to come here, and slowly but surely I'm going to make sure they have everything they need here so that they won't have to, but for now it seems to work. School is still in session, which means that I see my boys almost everyday. I pick them up and take them to school. I try to pick them up after school as often as possible too. After school they go to their mom's, even on days I have them. I pick them up after work. That way we both get to see them almost every day. That's a good thing because I don't know I would do if I couldn't see them all the time.
Anyway, back to the separate lives thing. When my boys are here, they are my entire life. I am with them almost all the time. I mean, I'll run to the store, or hit the laundromat before they wake up, but for the most part I'm with them. If I'm going to do something with friends, I'm taking one or both of my boys with me. I say one or both because my 14 year old isn't all that keen on hanging out with dad. He would prefer to stay here. Every once in a while I can get him out, but not often. I was the same way. Back to the story....we'll go to little league games to hang out. We'll go to someone's house as long as the boy's have someone there to play with. Things like that. When I have my boys, my life is my boys.
What do I do when I don't have my boys though? Honestly, almost nothing. I'm pretty much a hermit. I've read A LOT. I have listened to every song on my iPhone more often than I want to admit. Recently my son has been in little league, so I've been able to do that quite a bit. I loved watching him play. It was literally my favorite thing to do for the last 2 1/2 months. He just had his last game though. That takes away one of my easy "get out of the house" things to do. I don't want it to sound like I've done nothing. I go to church on Sunday mornings. I have gotten together with friends a couple of times over the last few months. I went on those three dates that I mentioned. I also went dancing a couple of weeks ago. That was a big step for me. It was something that I would have said, "No" to just a few weeks ago. For the most part though, I'm a hermit.
Here's the reason I decided to write about this. I've decided it's time to stop being a hermit. I don't make friends very easily. I'm actually shy. People look at me like I'm an idiot when I say that, but I am shy. I have a difficult time initiating conversations. Now, once I'm a part of the conversation, look out!! I might not shut up. But I can sit in a room full of people I don't know and not say a word for hours. It's just who I've always been. I'm not going to be that way anymore though. I'm going to put myself in new social settings. I actually did that a couple of weeks ago. I went to a bar in town that someone had suggested. It was nice. It had a more mature crowd. Totally not the "meat market" feel that a lot of places have. I ended up talking to a guy about coaching. He was probably around 60, and I got to listen most of the time, and it was great. It was like everyone there knew each other and they were there for only one reason, to hang out with friends. I loved it. I plan on going back later this week during the farmer's market.
I figure, my entire life is being redefined. Maybe it's time to try to bust out of my shell. What's the worst that could happen? Actually, don't answer that!! Just let me find out for myself. I would imagine there is a really good chance that I will share with you what I discover.
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